Chapter 51: Advice for Female Fans
Hearing Jiang Yun’s words, the viewers in the livestream could no longer contain themselves.
“Wait, Yunzi, did you work in pyramid schemes before?”
“Were you part of the Blue Sky Project back in the day?”
“With those speaking skills, Yunzi must have been a pyramid scheme leader!”
“Alright, I thought you were just a regular entertainer, but turns out you’re a pyramid scheme streamer!”
“……”
Jiang Yun glanced at the chat, raised an eyebrow, and said, “What are you all talking about? Seriously, what are you saying? I just saved a lost youth and helped him find direction in life. That’s a good deed! I’m the most charitable person around—if I don’t do good every day, I feel uncomfortable! Saving one youth brings virtue to the world; if I save two, then virtue will overflow!”
As soon as Jiang Yun finished speaking, a super moderator warning popped up in the chat.
[Streamer, please mind your language!]
Jiang Yun: ……
“So stingy.”
He grumbled, then continued, “Alright, let’s welcome our next dream-chaser.”
With that, Jiang Yun accepted a connection request from a fan whose profile picture was adorably cute.
The next second, a girl’s voice came through Jiang Yun’s headphones.
“Hello, Yunzi, can you hear me?”
Her voice was soft, instantly giving away her southern origins.
“Yes, I can hear you. So, young lady, what is your dream… Actually, what would you like to talk about?”
“It’s like this, Yunzi. I’m about to start my first year at university. Back in high school, my family wouldn’t let me date, but now I want to have a sweet romance in college. The thing is, I’m worried about running into a jerk. So, Yunzi, do you have any tips on how I can avoid bad guys?”
Hearing this, Jiang Yun immediately put on a “you’ve come to the right person” expression.
“Miss, I can’t vouch for anything else, but when it comes to reading people, I’m an expert! Just follow the criteria I’m about to tell you, and you’ll definitely find a good man who’s right for you!”
“Really?” The girl’s tone was filled with surprise.
Jiang Yun answered confidently, “Of course! Trust me, as long as you avoid a few types of people, you’ll never go wrong!”
“Alright, Yunzi, I’m all ears.”
The anticipation in her voice was unmistakable.
Jiang Yun continued, “First, don’t go for someone older than you. Most of these guys have more life experience and deeper intentions; it’s easy to get played!”
Upon hearing this, many viewers in the livestream agreed.
“That’s right, older men aren’t usually good news.”
“I’m a guy myself, but I have to admit, as men get older, they get more cunning.”
“Freshmen girls are no match for older men—definitely stay away.”
“Some of those older guys with bad intentions will even scam a girl out of her underwear!”
“……”
Seeing that the audience was siding with him, the girl quickly asked, “Okay, Yunzi, what’s next?”
Jiang Yun raised an eyebrow, “Second, don’t go for someone younger, either. These guys are usually inexperienced and childish—it’s exhausting!”
“Huh???”
The girl’s confusion was immediate.
“Yunzi, if I can’t date someone older or younger, who am I supposed to date?”
Jiang Yun waved his hand, “You don’t get it. Older and younger here is a broad term. It’s not like being a day older or younger counts.”
“Oh, I see, Yunzi—you mean those with a big age gap, right? Much older or much younger won’t do!”
“Exactly!” Jiang Yun nodded. “Stick to people your own age. You’ll have similar experiences, and it’s easier to find things in common!”
“Got it, Yunzi, go on, I’m listening.”
“Third, don’t go for someone who’s already working. You’re still a student with lots of free time, but people with jobs are busy all day and have no time for you. Without time together, the relationship will slowly fall apart—so definitely avoid them!
Fourth, don’t go for someone without a job. Love without a material foundation—do I even need to explain? We all know how that ends!”
When Jiang Yun listed the third and fourth criteria, the girl was utterly baffled.
Huh???
So, I can’t go for someone with a job, but I also can’t go for someone without one? Am I supposed to find a rich heir who does nothing all day?
Before she could voice her doubts, Jiang Yun continued, “Fifth, don’t go for someone who’s already in a relationship. We can’t do anything unethical!
Sixth, don’t go for someone who’s single! If no one else wants them, why should you?
Seventh, don’t go for someone alive—those who’ve been out in the world too long are full of negativity and slow to open up. It’ll take so much effort to get close to them, it’s just not worth it!
Eighth, don’t go for someone dead, either! What’s the point of dating someone who’s not even alive?!”
Jiang Yun rattled off the rest of his criteria in one go.
After hearing him out, the girl was left in stunned silence.
Huh???
Do you even hear yourself?
By now, the viewers had caught on that Jiang Yun wasn’t seriously giving her relationship advice—he was just putting on a show!
“Yunzi, do you even hear what you’re saying?”
“With your standards, who could you possibly find?”
“Are you just trying to mess with her?”
“I thought Yunzi had turned over a new leaf, but he’s still just clowning around!”
“To sum up Yunzi’s advice: stay single!”
“……”
After a long silence, the girl finally spoke up, her tone faint, “Yunzi, do you think these requirements are reasonable?”
Jiang Yun put on his most serious face. “Reasonable! Very reasonable! I’m following these standards myself when looking for someone!”
“And have you found anyone?”
“Nope!”
Girl: ……
“Then what’s the point?! I’m going to smash my fan badge!”
She said this huffily.
At that, Jiang Yun could only try to console her in earnest, “Don’t, don’t, don’t! I’ll stop messing around. Let me give you some real advice—guaranteed to keep you away from jerks.”
“Promise you won’t mess with me again?”
She sounded wary, clearly shaken by his earlier words.
“I promise!”
“Alright, then go ahead.”
“If you don’t date anyone, you’ll never run into a jerk.”
“YUNZI!!!”
“You don’t like that? Alright, how about this—date a girl, then you won’t meet a jerk.”
Girl: ……
“You don’t like girls either? Then date an anim—”
Beep, beep, beep…
Before Jiang Yun could finish, the girl had already disconnected from the call.
With a helpless shrug, Jiang Yun said, “See, even when I try to give serious advice, she won’t listen~”
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