Chapter 128: Hard Crowd Control!

The man on the phone was completely unaware that everyone around him was eavesdropping on his gossip. He just kept talking to the person on the other end:

"Mom, that matchmaker told me she was a returnee from abroad, rolling in money. And what did it turn out to be? She was over in Myanmar running scams! She even had a kidney removed—so yeah, she’s 'rolling in disability,' not money! And the kicker is, she’s still got two months left in prison. How the hell am I supposed to go on a date with that?"

Hearing this, Jiang Yun and Dai Xiaomei couldn't help but exchange glances. They wanted to laugh, but didn't dare do it openly. Other passengers on the subway were also lowering their heads, pursing their lips to hold back their amusement.

But the audience in the livestream had no such reservations.

"What a great 'returnee'!"
"The matchmaker wasn't lying. She did return from abroad—just via the national highway!"
"It’s definitely the national highway; she wouldn't have made it back on any private route."
"The matchmaker has some real talent; most people wouldn't think of that spin!"

As the viewers cracked jokes, the man continued, "What do you mean 'people can change'? She committed a crime! This is going to have a huge impact on my future kids, you know... What? High IQ and good genes? My foot! The matchmaker said she was a '211,' and I thought she graduated from a 211 university. Turns out, she only scored 211 on her college entrance exam. You call that a high IQ? If those genes get passed down, it’s questionable if your grandkids will even be able to get into high school."

Pfft!

Some passengers could no longer hold it in and let out a laugh. As soon as the sound escaped, others glared at them. After all, if the man realized he was being overheard, they’d lose their source of entertainment! What could be more fun than gossiping on a crowded, boring subway ride?

Fortunately, the man remained lost in his own frustrations and didn't notice the laughter.

"And don't even get me started on her old man. The matchmaker said he was a collector with loads of treasures, and that if we ever hit hard times, we could sell some to get by. I thought he was some big shot dealing in antiques. Turns out? He’s a junk collector! Business was bad last year, and his place is piled high with trash. When I went there, I thought I’d walked into a landfill!"

Jiang Yun’s face was contorted as he struggled to keep from laughing. Beside him, Dai Xiaomei was pinching Jiang Yun’s arm, trying to force herself to focus on something else. The expressions on their faces were pure meme material.

But the man wasn't finished yet!

"The most infuriating part is her mother. They said she was also a returnee who 'returned in glory' and worked for the government, and that she was so high-level that even her daughter and husband rarely got to see her. They said we could start a family business together. Turns out, she’s just like her daughter—a scammer who got caught! If we started a family business, that would just mean dragging my future kids into the scamming racket!"

The moment he finished speaking, the dam finally broke, and passengers erupted into laughter. Seeing others break the tension, more and more people let go and joined in.

"Hahahaha!"

Hearing the roar of laughter, the man finally realized something was amiss. He whispered into the phone, "Alright Mom, I’ll talk to you about it when I get home. I’m on the subway right now, let’s talk later." He hung up and buried his head in his phone, pretending to be busy.

Dai Xiaomei was laughing hysterically. She gripped Jiang Yun’s arm and said, "Oh my god, how can things be this funny? Hahaha!"

A portion of the livestream audience resonated with the man's story.

"Interesting. A matchmaker like that is truly something else!"
"To spin a family like that into something so grand—that matchmaker has real skills!"
"Anyone who has been on blind dates knows this kind of matchmaker isn't exaggerating at all!"
"I once went on a date where the girl rejected me because she thought 172cm was too short. This year, she contacted me again to see if I’d grown any taller."

Just then, the subway arrived at the station. Jiang Yun took a quick look and hauled Dai Xiaomei out through the crowd.

"Alright, we're here."

Dai Xiaomei stared at her dangling feet in a daze. It wasn't until Jiang Yun set her down that she looked at him, completely bewildered. Jiang Yun shrugged and said, "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to squeeze out."

"Even if I couldn't squeeze out, you didn't have to carry me like that! Don't I have any dignity?!"

The livestream audience was dying of laughter.

"It's fine, Little Dai, I saw a kid being carried like that the other day too."
"The way Brother Yun picked her up looked just like carrying a little chicken."
"Did you say chicken? You haters better watch out!"

Hearing her complaints, Jiang Yun patted her head as if soothing a child. "Alright, let's go eat."

He headed toward the exit of the subway station. Seeing this, Dai Xiaomei stomped her feet in frustration but followed him nonetheless. Soon, they arrived at the restaurant they had agreed upon. Dai Xiaomei handed the menu to Jiang Yun. "I said I’d treat you, so go ahead and order."

"Sure." Jiang Yun didn't stand on ceremony and started ordering.

While he was busy, Dai Xiaomei checked her livestream. The viewer count had reached 90,000 and was still climbing. She smiled and said, "You’re definitely more effective than a paid promotion; my channel is almost at 100,000 viewers."

Jiang Yun: ...

Suddenly remembering something, Dai Xiaomei asked, "By the way, are you sure you don't want to go to that show we talked about? They start filming tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Jiang Yun blinked. He recalled that the Douyin staff had indeed mentioned Wednesday, which was tomorrow.

"Yeah!" Dai Xiaomei nodded. "They say that besides some top influencers, there will be a few celebrities there, and there will be some interactive segments. Are you really not going?"

Jiang Yun shook his head. "Forget it. I don't know them. Besides, if I go, you’ll have to take the subway there. Don't you think it would look a bit strange to show up in a fancy outfit and formal wear after riding the subway?"

"Uh..." Dai Xiaomei froze. She had been so focused on getting Jiang Yun to go so she could interact with him and ride his coattails that she had completely overlooked that.

The audience in the livestream couldn't help but laugh.

"Brother Yun doesn't just act as a traffic booster for Little Dai; he’s also a 'car-ban' signal."
"Brother Yun: 'With me standing here, do you dare to drive?'"
"Brother Yun’s anti-driving buff is a hard CC. As long as they are together, it's walking or the subway for her."