Chapter 38: Pain

Chapter 38: Pain

Bai Li did not wait idly; instead, she opened her suitcase and began putting her belongings back into the room one by one. Her room was small, and she didn't have many possessions. The furniture was mostly in cool tones, provided by the renovation company as part of a standard package. It had originally been intended as a guest room.

Once she finished tidying up, she sat back down in her chair, counting the rhythmic ticks of the wall clock. Generally, Ms. Hu waited until late at night when she wanted to discipline her. Even though Bai Li was obedient and rarely gave her mother a reason to lecture her, she was sensitive and could always discern a pattern.

At midnight, Ms. Hu burst into the room without knocking or giving any warning, then turned around to lock the door behind her. She glared at Bai Li with sharp, piercing eyes. "Had enough of your wild behavior? Bai Li, I never imagined you would dare to be so disobedient! Your Uncle Su was absolutely furious that day. Don't you know what he wants? He provides a good life for us, mother and daughter, so all he asks is that we be obedient and sensible, and that the household remains peaceful. But look at you—instead of enjoying a good life, you choose to run away from home. Have you lost your mind?"

She didn't seem to care about the volume of her voice. The high-end house had excellent soundproofing, with thick strips sealed into every gap of the doors and windows. Bai Li simply looked at her mother, eyes wide, offering no rebuttal and saying nothing.

Ms. Hu could not stand this one-sided performance; she felt stifled to the point of madness. After enduring the frustrations caused by her stepson, stepdaughter, and husband, she felt it was only fair that she take her anger out on her daughter. She stepped forward and grabbed Bai Li’s wrist, her bright red nails digging deeply into the girl's skin as she stared coldly at her. "Let me tell you, stop being a burden to me! Can you just be sensible and obedient?"

Though the words were spoken like a desperate, earnest plea, her nails had already broken the skin of Bai Li’s arm, and beads of fresh blood quickly welled up. The clock on the wall ticked on, and Bai Li calmly endured the pain.

Ms. Hu intensified her grip: "And that Fang Ye—I know you went to find him. You went, and that's that, but you are never allowed to mention him in this house again! He is a person of the past. If you dare to bring him up again, you will be ruining me. If you ruin me, you won't even be able to finish school. Do you hear me?"

Hearing the threat regarding her education, Bai Li finally reacted. She bit her lip and nodded. Ms. Hu’s expression softened; after all, young girls were easy to manipulate—just a little scare, and they would agree to anything.

Bai Li suddenly spoke softly: "Mom, let me live on campus. I want to study hard for my senior year."

"You want to live on campus? Impossible."

"Mom." Bai Li looked up and said quietly, "Uncle Su is angry right now and doesn't want to see me, does he? If I study hard and get into a good university, Uncle Su will be happy. And if I leave, my stepsister will surely be able to come home more often."

The logic was sound. Ms. Hu pondered for a moment. After a long while, she released Bai Li’s wrist and said, "I'll discuss it with your uncle and see." Then, looking down at Bai Li’s arm, her voice softened slightly: "As long as you know how to win Uncle Su's favor, that's enough. Remember to wear long sleeves tomorrow."

***

Seeing that she had achieved her goal, Bai Li nodded. Her arm felt somewhat numb from the pinching, and blood trailed down to her fingertips, staining the floor.

She had seen a few melancholic youth films where the characters often had alcoholic, abusive fathers and mothers who vented their misery on others. Bai Li actually found she could empathize quite well. Although Ms. Hu was a respectable woman who never went crazy or beat her, that bone-chilling pain would still linger on her skin in other ways.

She lowered her dark lashes, pulled out a soft tissue, and gently wiped the surface of the wound; it turned red instantly. Then, with an expressionless face, she applied a bandage and laid down to sleep.

The moonlight from outside the window spilled into the room. A heart that had just been barely mended was instantly shattered into pieces once again. Bai Li remembered what Fang Ye had said—that if she was bullied, she should tell him. She turned over, letting the cold air from the air conditioner blow over her waist.

Tell him what?
That she wouldn't finish her senior year? That she wouldn't go to university?
If she wanted to save Fang Ye, she had to save herself first.

September was approaching, and the wind was gradually losing its warmth. The girl who had been smiling just yesterday had become lifeless again today. The wounds stung painfully when they brushed against the quilt, so she slowly pulled her legs up to sit, blowing softly on her arm.

She kept telling herself in her heart: there is hope.
If Fang Ye could struggle his way out, she could too.

Because her stepsister and stepbrother had already gone to attend pre-semester training, and Bai Li had returned right at the deadline, she was too far behind to catch up—which gave her the perfect excuse not to go with them.

When September 1st finally arrived, Ms. Hu told Bai Li to pack her bags. Bai Li knew then that her stepfather had agreed to her living on campus, so she packed quickly. In truth, there wasn't much: two school uniforms, a pillow, bed sheets, a quilt, a towel, and slippers.

***

The registration process for the start of the term was the same as before. Ms. Hu took her stepsister, and Su Changjin took his stepson. As for Bai Li, her grades were good enough that even if she went by herself, the teachers were willing to make an exception. Her request for boarding was approved smoothly, and she was led to the school dormitory.

Jiangcheng Private No. 1 Middle School was a prestigious institution. Boarding students were rare, and bed spaces were tight because many high-achieving students preferred living on campus to avoid wasting time on the commute. Each room was a quad. After finding her room, Bai Li felt a weight lift from her heart.

Even so, Ms. Hu still called to give her an order: she must come home every weekend, because her stepfather liked to see the whole family sitting together at the dinner table in harmony. Looking at the scene outside the brand-new dormitory building, Bai Li thought that being able to escape for five days a week was good enough.

On the first day of school, Bai Li bought a bowl of porridge at the cafeteria before hurrying to the classroom for her lesson. She arrived early, and none of her classmates had yet appeared. However, her desk-mate, He Suisui, was there even earlier.

Seeing Bai Li walk through the door, her eyes brightened, and she handed Bai Li a new backpack: "Li, your new bag is so pretty! It’s even a name brand. I’ve never seen you like these things before; why did you suddenly buy one, and why did you have it mailed to my house first?"

Her questions didn't sound like mockery; she was simply expressing her curiosity. Bai Li took the bag and answered softly, "My brother bought this for me."

He Suisui was confused: "The brother from Class 11?"

Bai Li paused and shook her head: "No, he's... another brother."

He Suisui, not understanding such complex relationships, didn't dwell on it. She simply thought it was quite impressive that her friend had so many brothers.

"Then that brother of yours is really nice. I wish I had a brother, too."

The breeze of September blew across Bai Li’s face, and she revealed a faint, gentle smile.
Yes, Fang Ye was very good to her.