Chapter 36: Brother, I’m Sorry

The bright, desolate full moon illuminated every inch of the ancient city. A chilly breeze whistled through the trees on either side of the road, eventually coming to a helpless rest against the cold glass windows.

Bai Li did not even know how she had walked back to her room. She sat blankly on the bed, hugging the pillow she had slept on for the past two months. Her fingertips slowly tightened around the fabric of the pillowcase, the faint scent of shampoo lingering in her nostrils.

It sent her thoughts spiraling.

"In this world, if no one else looks out for you, your brother will."

Fang Ye was a man who never lied. Over the past two months, he had never failed to keep his word. His statement carried a unique tone—a promise and a vow that provided an immense sense of security. Never before had anyone so firmly declared that they would take care of her.

Bai Li’s heart began to beat with increasing intensity. She felt an irrepressible emotion spreading within her, a thought surging forth that she could no longer control.

It was so strange. She felt both joy and shyness, mingled with a faint, tickling sensation in her heart. She had never experienced such an obscure feeling before.

In a panic, Bai Li grabbed her phone, opened Weibo, and searched for keywords, hoping to find an answer. Some said this was... love.

The desk lamp cast a pool of yellow light across the floor. Bai Li’s head buzzed. She struggled to recognize her own abnormality but dared not admit it; her complexion shifted from a deep flush to a deathly pale. She quickly turned off the light and curled into her blankets, her slightly trembling back betraying her inner terror. Biting her lip hard, she took deep breaths of the stagnant air trapped under the covers, desperate to hide such a lowly secret.

At an inappropriate age, with an inappropriate person—how could she dare to harbor such thoughts?

Her sense of shame stirred the nerves of a young girl, making it impossible for her to close her eyes and drift into sleep. Thus, she sacrificed an entire night’s rest.

Bai Li got up to pack the luggage she would be taking with her. The clothes and items Fang Ye had bought for her had been shipped to her desk-mate’s home by courier that morning. There was no other reason; she could not take these things back to that house, or it would bring endless trouble.

She packed the belongings she had brought with her and a few small trinkets, meticulously restoring the room to exactly how it looked the day she arrived. Lying back on the bed, she waited from the darkness until the mist of dawn, when birds began to fly about in search of food.

The young girl sighed. When she rose again, it would be time to part.

Eight o'clock in the morning.

After washing up, Bai Li took an envelope she had prepared earlier from under her pillow and carefully tucked it into the wardrobe. After a moment’s thought, she left a sticky note. It read: "Thank you, Brother."

Having finished everything, she grabbed her suitcase and went downstairs. She had intended to wake up early to see Fang Ye off, but to her surprise, he was already up.

On the large wooden dining table sat shredded chicken porridge and a few small snacks, steaming in the morning air. He was sitting on the sofa, lazily bringing a cigarette to his lips. Seeing Bai Li from a few meters away, he said gently, "Eat. I'll take you to the high-speed rail station in a bit."

Disturbed by her wild thoughts from the night before, Bai Li found it hard to look Fang Ye in the eye. She walked straight to the table and sipped the cooling porridge. It was only then that the reality of his offer hit her—Fang Ye wanted to take her to the station?

She hastily set down her spoon, swallowed a mouthful of porridge, and refused repeatedly. "Brother, no, really, you don't have to. I can go by myself. Your injuries haven't healed yet; you shouldn't be moving around."

The summer air was filled with the scent of greenery. Fang Ye extinguished his cigarette, his gaze kind. "Who knows when we'll see each other again? Let me take you."

Bai Li’s heart rose and fell at the mention of "next time." Her mind began to wander again—did this mean... he was reluctant to let her go, too?

At this thought, her heart sank. Not knowing how to refuse, she could only nod, her voice soft. "Then I'll trouble you, Brother."

Fang Ye tapped his fingers on the table, a smile playing on his lips. "Why be so formal?"

Once again, she stood in the high-speed rail terminal. Bai Li had walked through these corridors four times now. Travelers bustled about, the noisy chatter and the announcements weaving through the air.

Dragging her suitcase, Bai Li bought a return ticket. Confirming that she truly had to leave, her nose stung. She stubbornly wiped away her tears, turned to Fang Ye, and said, "Brother, I'm leaving."

Seeing the girl trying to hold back her tears, Fang Ye nodded faintly and pulled a pack of tissues from his pocket. "It's not like you aren't coming back. We'll see each other again." He knew the girl was tough, but he hadn't expected her to cry when saying goodbye.

Bai Li clutched her ticket and nodded silently. The tears she had held back all along the way fell uncontrollably. She felt that if it were truly so easy for people to meet again, there wouldn't be so many regrets in the world.

But she didn't want to make a scene while crying so hard, so she hurriedly lowered her head and said she needed to find the restroom.

Fang Ye took her bag and pointed toward the side of the ticketing hall. "Go ahead. I'll be right here waiting for you."

Bai Li couldn't even manage a reply. She fled to the mirror in the restroom and splashed cold water on her face, the icy flow washing away the heat in the corners of her eyes. Looking at herself in the mirror, she thought as she wept: She must study hard. When the day of her freedom came, she would definitely return to Lingjiang.

There were twenty minutes left before the high-speed train to Jiangcheng departed.

Bai Li timed it perfectly and emerged from the restroom. Even after washing her face repeatedly, it was clear she had been crying terribly. She could only keep her head slightly bowed, letting Fang Ye lead her to the security checkpoint to queue up.

As they neared the front of the line, she finally couldn't help but look up. In a soft, slow voice, she said to Fang Ye, "Brother, take care of yourself from now on. Don't get hurt again. Wait for me—I will definitely come back to find you."

Fang Ye noticed her reddened eyelids. He rested a hand on her shoulder, leaned down to look into her eyes, and smiled. "Mhm. Like I said, if you need anything, tell your brother. I'll come to see you, too."

He said it with such certainty. Bai Li wanted to believe him but dared not. Fang Ye was going to university soon; when would he have the chance to visit her?

Fang Ye saw the doubt in the girl's eyes and gave a helpless, low chuckle. They were third in line now. He handed her bag back to her. "Hold onto your bag. Buy some food once you're inside; it's a long trip."

Bai Li took the bag and nodded.

In the vast, open space, the faint scent of mint and ebony on Fang Ye reached her once more. She deliberately took a deep breath, wanting to memorize the scent.

Fang Ye reached out and pinched her cheek. "Alright, go on. Remember to message me when you arrive safely."

"Okay."

Bai Li placed her bag on the security scanner. Before walking through the metal detector, she turned back and offered Fang Ye a smile.

"Brother, I will take good care of myself."

She clenched her palms and finally said the words she had been too afraid to utter.

"And, I'm sorry, Brother."

Under Fang Ye’s puzzled gaze, Bai Li was urged forward into the security zone.