Chapter 5: The Eternal Roland

Chapter 5: Roland Through the Ages

Fang Xiaoling was stunned for a long moment before forcing a smile. "Roland, are you saying...?"

"Exactly as you think! It’s my soul occupying your body," Roland slowly released her hand. "Though it sounds unbelievable, it’s the truth. I can read your thoughts and feelings because my soul is still connected to yours. That’s also why I could find you so easily."

Fang Xiaoling gently placed her cup on the table. "I don’t want to know how this all happened. I just want to know, why me?"

"I don’t want to either," Roland looked at her apologetically. "I’m sorry, I didn’t know you lost your memories of the time I occupied your body. I thought you knew everything. Listen to me: every time I fall asleep and wake up again, I could become another woman. After crossing over, unless I can make a man I like truly love me, I’ll never wake up."

"What... what kind of situation is this?" Fang Xiaoling smiled bitterly and shook her head. "So you possessed my body, pursued Shen Yi, married him, then woke up and continued living in your own body? Is that what you mean?"

"Yes, that’s right. But Xiaoling, I really didn’t mean it. I have no control over whose body my soul inhabits. I’ve never crossed into someone from my own time—always people from the past, the future, or even other worlds. Since I was sixteen until now, I’ve had nearly two hundred dreams, living through countless identities in various eras. The last time before you was when I inhabited Liu Er, Pan Long’s grandmother. When I woke up from my true body, Liu Er had been dead for many years, and Pan Long was in his forties. We weren’t even from the same era."

"Enough!" Fang Xiaoling clutched her head, overwhelmed. "I don’t want to hear about your experiences—they have nothing to do with me. I just want to know, if Shen Yi loves you, then what am I? The other woman?"

"Xiaoling, don’t misunderstand. I don’t care for Shen Yi at all. I only married him so that my true body could wake up. When I first found out you and I lived in the same era, I was shocked. I even tried to find myself by returning here in your body. But I found my true body missing; even my family and friends no longer recognized Roland. It was like a fabricated world designed just for me. What’s more illogical is that although no one remembered Roland, my bank account and house still existed. The AI at the elevator recognized your body as mine. So I used your body to get home, found my bank card, and withdrew 600,000 yuan. After marrying Shen Yi, I woke up in my true body and found my bank account was missing the money. None of this makes sense—too many mysteries. That’s why I came to you. If you help me, maybe we can find some clues."

Fang Xiaoling fell silent for a moment, then nodded slowly. "No wonder you suddenly showed up so kindly, saying you wanted to help me get Shen Yi back. So, it was you who dated Shen Yi all along. You must have been upset when you found out he loved another woman, right?"

"Maybe it’s just a simple desire to win. Anyway, I have no feelings for Shen Yi. I’ve crossed over nearly two hundred times, met countless men, and only saw them as tasks to wake my true body. I’ve never fallen in love." Roland sat beside Fang Xiaoling. "Don’t worry, Xiaoling. From now on, my money is yours—consider it my way of making amends."

"Making amends?" Fang Xiaoling suddenly laughed. "Do you know why Shen Yi was flirting with Jiang Tongtong? Because he said Jiang had traces of the old me—meaning you. So it seems Shen Yi never changed his heart; he’s always loved your soul, Roland."

"It’s not like that. Don’t worry, Xiaoling. In a sense, I’ve lived through hundreds of lives. I’m best at controlling men’s hearts. If you follow my instructions, Shen Yi will sincerely love you."

"Disgusting!" Fang Xiaoling stood up in revulsion. "Do you think you’re so great? Controlling someone’s heart—what do you take people for? Toys? You want me to do as you say? What’s the meaning of winning Shen Yi’s love that way? I’ve decided not to be with Shen Yi anymore. If he doesn’t love me, he should be with whoever he loves. If I change myself for him, then I’m no longer myself!"

"When the storm comes, which tree hopes for it?" Roland said calmly. "Do you think I enjoy controlling hearts? I suffer too. I just want to break the curse and quietly leave this world. Xiaoling, you say I can’t understand your feelings, but I truly do. I’ve lived nearly ten thousand years; what could I not understand? I don’t want the curse or to disturb your life, but this is fate’s design, beyond my control."

Fang Xiaoling asked coldly, "If you’re so miserable and want to leave this world, can’t you do it now? Are you immortal?"

Roland was silent for a long time before replying, "I can’t bear to die."

"After living ten thousand years, you still haven’t had enough?" Fang Xiaoling mocked with hostility.

Roland didn’t get angry. She sighed, "There have been countless times I wanted to stop living, but countless times I clung to life. Whether it’s my true body or inhabiting others, even in war-torn eras, with a thought I could end it all, I still struggle to survive through pain and confusion. Maybe it’s instinct, maybe my own cowardice. At those critical moments, I can’t help wanting to live. Even if it’s for another ten thousand years, even if I despise life itself, I can’t stop living."

"Whatever." Fang Xiaoling left after saying this. She had figured everything out. Though penniless and homeless, she no longer wanted to stay.

On October 10, 2022, she met the twenty-nine-year-old Roland, a person who shattered her worldview and robbed her of the will to live. When the elevator doors opened again, it no longer revealed the sea but a lakeside panorama. Technology had advanced far beyond her imagination, yet she had lived twenty-three years in ignorance. Fate had placed everyone in different worlds, the distances between which no amount of effort could overcome.

Even the human heart was laughable. The man she once loved was controlled by techniques that manipulated the soul.

"Shen Yi, can my true feelings not compete with knowledge of human nature?" As the elevator reached the ground floor and the doors opened, Fang Xiaoling staggered out, ignoring the transforming AI beside her. She murmured, "Shen Yi, if this world has no love, then what am I feeling for you? Why can’t I stop thinking of you now?"

The artificial sky’s stars flowed, transforming into dazzling constellations. Faint piano music drifted through the air. Unconsciously, Fang Xiaoling lost herself in this beauty, as if among those countless sparkling lights, one was her true home.

"God, if you exist, please take me away." She wept and laughed, collapsing to the ground with arms outstretched. "This world has abandoned me! Please take me away, I beg you..."

The starry river spun into a circle, like a deep pupil absorbing everything. Fang Xiaoling felt her soul being drawn out. The artificial sky seemed a vast, real universe, blurring illusion and reality. She couldn’t tell if she was awake or dreaming, only that she was rising, rising... After an unknown time, she suddenly began to fall, endlessly and rapidly, into the boundless darkness and the mottled starlight around her.

At the same moment, Roland stepped into the lakeside-themed elevator. She walked on the floor’s mirror-clear electronic screen, rippling like water. Looking down, she saw a familiar yet strange reflection of herself. "Next time I see you, who knows in which life you will have lived and died."

Before she finished speaking, her reflection on the electronic lake’s surface twisted into a sinister smile. This startled the Roland who had lived through so many lifetimes; her skin crawled. Just as she tried to look more closely, she plunged into the lake water. Real liquid filled her throat and ears. She struggled in agony, consciousness fading, feeling herself falling endlessly.

"Am I asleep?" Roland was familiar with this sensation. Every time she crossed over, she would fall for a long while, calm inside, waiting to awaken in a new identity.

After some time, new memories poured into Roland’s mind like flowing sand. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself lying on an unfamiliar tatami mat. She began meditating, sorting through the memories this body carried.

"Li Mengli, senior year of high school, target is a small-time thug named Tian Hu..." Roland muttered disdainfully. "Kids should just study and not waste time liking fools."

"Ah—" A scream came from nearby outside the door. Roland opened her eyes slowly, ignoring the noise, and found a mirror on the desk to examine herself. "Not bad-looking. Settling the target will only take a few days. I need to get back to my true body and find Fang Xiaoling. Maybe she’s the key to breaking the curse."

"Who’s Li Mengli? My name is Fang Xiaoling! Don’t come near me!" The noise outside made Roland pause. She opened the door and saw her parents looking worriedly at the girl curled against the wall. "Mengli, what’s wrong? Don’t scare your mother."

(End of chapter)